It’s almost impossible to mention China in a conversation now without hearing about them owning a large portion of our debt.  Based on my own unscientific and anecdotal perception (I asked a bunch of people), most would answer that China owns “most” or “close to half” of our debt, and I’m commonly asked “when I think that Mao Zedong will be on the hundred dollar bill.”

Before we begin, I’d like to make clear that I am a fiscal conservative.  I believe the US should not routinely run a deficit, particularly a large one.  I live in a state (Florida) with a balanced budget provision in our constitution and even though it’s ignored from time to time, I think it would be a good thing to have nationally, and I believe it to be extremely unwise to routinely run deficit spending.

One of the best resources for understanding the national debt is, unsurprisingly, the US Treasury.  You can read up to date reports on outstanding debt and its holders here.  Wikipedia has a slightly outdated but directionally graphical correct representation of this data here.  From this, we can see that somewhere around 30% of all US Treasuries are held by foreign and international interests.  The rest are held by insurance companies, other investors, pension funds, mutual funds, and the government itself (mostly the Social Security trust fund).

Already, this is probably not the picture you expected.  Less than a third of all US debt held by foreigners.  The treasury helpfully breaks this down further here, listing each country by holdings and the dates of the holdings.  Of that debt, China is indeed the leading holder at roughly 20.8% (as of July 2010), but Japan is right behind at 20.2%, then the United Kingdom at 9.2%, then oil exporters (5.5%), Brazil (4.0%), Hong Kong (3.3%), Russia (3.2%), and Republic of China or Taiwan at 3.2%.

After just a few minutes of basic research, we’ve learned that China has roughly 6% of our national debt under its ownership, and of the rest of the countries on that list, Japan, the UK, Taiwan, and Brazil would be counted in the friendly-to-America column, or at least in the “choose America over China” column.  It can be argued that Hong Kong is essentially China, but it still doesn’t change the general picture at all.

China, along with other countries, just doesn’t own that much of America’s national debt.  In fact, I’d say in light of all the political rhetoric, 6% is a shockingly small amount.

Still, lets say that the nightmare scenario happens, things went sour with China, and they wanted to begin flexing their muscle, using our debt against us as a weapon.  What would their options be?

• They could sell their holdings.  This would immediately depress the value of treasuries and probably cause some amount of alarm.  However, were China to begin selling their nearly 800 billion in treasury bills, the market for these bills would rapidly cause their existing holdings to plunge in value.  In other words, by selling, they’d screw themselves fairly quickly, and they’d be forced to take that money and place it somewhere else.  Where?  The EU has proven recently to be a less than stellar investment.  Their own domestic market wouldn’t be able to absorb a nearly trillion dollar capital injection without being inflationary.  Not to mention that the Fed could simply step in like they did with TARP and buy up the 800 billion dollars that China would sell, at rock bottom prices.  Our allies could also mobilize considerable buying pressure so that their own holdings wouldn’t devalue.  At the end of it all, China would probably lose the most from this maneuver.
• They could unpeg their currency to the US Dollar. China today artificially keeps their currency pegged at an unfavorable exchange rate (to them) in order for their products to remain cheaper for Americans.  Unbelievably, most of the current US diplomatic effort on economic issues is centered around trying to get China to remove this peg, thus making things more expensive for Americans.  Derogatory terms like “dumping” are used to describe China’s gift of subsidized products to millions of Americans.  By demanding that China unpeg its currency, we’re basically saying “remove your artificial subsidy on goods that middle and lower class Americans predominantly buy, and that will help us.”  Smarter people than I have written on this elsewhere numerous times.
• Are there other options here? I’m trying to think of them, but the reality is this – Chinese businesses are flush with dollars.  There’s a reason almost all of the countries that are major holders of US debt are manufacturing or commodities export driven (China, Taiwan, Brazil, Oil Nations, and Japan).  They receive dollars for their products, and need to buy materials to make their products.  These materials can and do often come from other economies, so it’s advantageous to use the world’s reserve currency to procure these materials.  Notice how India is absent from the list – they’re a knowledge exporter (mostly services and knowledge work like software), and therefore most of their income is paid in wages to individuals who then spend the cash within their own economy, not paid to other economies to procure raw materials.

If you were to obtain a large sum of money (in the billions or trillions of dollars), you’re going to need to make decisions regarding the investment of that money using long term, macro-level criterion.  Government stability comes into play, geopolitics becomes important, and all of a sudden in addition to a rate of return, you’re faced with the difficult decision of who do you trust with your money – but on a national scale.  If you’re China and you’re looking around the world to invest your US dollars, you can choose Europe, a handful of economies in SouthEast Asia that are just as invested in the US as you and are competitors to yourself, Africa, or South America.  The world just got a whole lot smaller.  In that context, the US is by far the most stable recipient for your investment, and its markets are also the driver for your current economic success.

Deng Xiaoping, the former leader of China and the architect of China’s reforms that shifted the country to free-market capitalism, is famous for his quote that China should stick to its economic policies for one hundred years.  China is thirty years in and has already taken enormously expensive steps (subsidizing exports by pegging to the US dollars for example) to ensure stability and continued growth.  Reasons for this are also steeped in history, as we’ll in see future posts.

Sure, China is investing more in Europe, as the recent debt offerings from Spain and Portugal illustrate, but the broader context here is that a global economic downturn hurts China just as much or more than any other economy.  Their domestic markets aren’t big enough or sophisticated enough to sop up the spare manufacturing capacity that would be created by a global downturn.  China’s economic interests are driven by political and historical goals that go unseen by Western economic analysts.

The analogy to this situation is simple:  as a construction company, you build a house, then rent it to a tenant who can also beat you up.  You sell furnishings to him too.  You’ve invested a lot in the home that you build, and all of a sudden, your tenant starts having trouble paying you back.  Unfortunately, the house is so big and lavish that there’s nobody else who can afford it, or if they were to buy it, you’d have to sell at a steep or near-total loss.  What do you do?  You follow the wisdom that banks who own their own mortgages follow: you do what you can to work out a payment plan and look to keep the tenant in the house, while not humiliating him in the process.  This way, both of you make it through hard times, and you can sell him a nicer house when he’s back on his feet in a few years and is looking to upgrade.

China is not about to jeopardize its future by focusing on short term issues and America needs to stop wringing its hands over non-issues.  The problem isn’t China’s holdings (or any other foreign entity’s holdings) of our national debt, the problem is the national debt: it’s us.  It feels a lot better to fear monger, but at the end of the day, we’re the problem.

Originally posted at http://www.peebs.org/2011/01/china-vs-america-national-debt/

1. 7-11 delivers. You know when you’re hanging out with some friends and suddenly you realize that you need more beer, snacks, or cigarettes or some idiot girl is like “You know what would be really good right now? Ice cream!” and then all the other girls are like “yeah!”. Well in these cases, it’s simple: you pick up the phone and call 7-11. Very few minutes later a boy is at your door with a reusable bag and your order. If your Chinese isn’t so good don’t expect everything to be exactly right, for example they often bring me the New Tsingtao when I ask for the Classic Tsingtao (the new one is about 20 cents more per bottle.. ouch)  or if you ask for juice be lucky if you get something that came from a piece of fruit. Oh yeah, pretty much everywhere else delivers too.
2. Anything is possible with a little bit of money. Want fried noodles at 430am? No problem.  Need to move to a new apartment at 5 and its 4 now? Relax. Want to eat _____ (insert any animal there)? Eat away. Need a repairman on a Sunday night to fix pretty much anything? He might take 30 mins if he’s slow.
3. Things happen fast. I’ve been amazed at how quickly I can do things that are a pain in the ass in the US. For example when I moved recently I could’ve taken the apartment and moved in the same day I looked at it. Minutes after even. No credit checks, no waiting, nothing. Need cable or internet? There’s a cable rep downstairs in your building (or in a very nearby building). Bills are all paid to the management office in your building. Nothing is in your name really, you just go pay every month. Cash. There’s pretty much anyone available at any time to help you with whatever you might need.
4. Hot Pot. Hot pot is so great. I can’t even explain why, I just love it. And it’s spicy so it makes you drink more Tsingtao which is never a bad thing. Also most cities have about 10 different kinds of hot pot. I think Sichuan style is the best.
5. Massage. I’ve always liked getting massages but they’re really expensive back home and if you ask your girlfriend to give you one its like this quid pro quo situation in a sum zero game. If you massage her after she massages you then you feel tired and stressed again. If you massage her first, she’ll give you some crap massage and be like “sorry my hands hurt”.
6. Places in the US where normally you get shafted, they don’t shaft you in China. For example in the US convenience stores rip you off. In China there’s not really a price differential between something at a convenience store and something at the supermarket or a specialty store. Another example is the airport. The airports in China and Hong Kong are more or less the same price as a similar place outside of the airport. I think this is because the Chinese are so aware of being cheated that they would just refuse to pay the high prices and the gouging stores have learned this the hard way.
7. You’ll learn good habits. Like not putting your shoes on the bed or wearing flip flops inside. It took me some time but now I always wear flip flops or sandles inside. They call them “slippers”. If you’ve seen those things that suck all the bad stuff out of your body via your feet (I think they are bullshit but still) you’d not want to basically sponge up everything off the ground with your feet. Also, the reason Asian people in general take off their shoes when they go indoors is for one to keep it clean, but also because the streets in most asian countries are pretty foul and why would you want to track all that shit into your house. Walk through a wet market or seafood street and you’ll start taking your shoes off too.
8. People mind their own business. Mostly. This goes to extremes like if you walk down to a bar street and see some guy beating the shit out of his girlfriend in the front of the bar (rather common) or if you see someone getting beat up or otherwise bothered but for the most part Chinese just don’t give a crap what you’re doing and would rather you stay out of their business too.
9. Things are cheap. The reason for this I think is less because it’s a developing country and more because things are produced here and people know what it costs to make stuff. I think that in the US pricing models are a little bit messed up. For example, lets say you need a fan for your room or a keyboard. Well you probably know it takes about 50-75 cents to make but you’re willing to pay $10 for it—probably even pleased with the price you paid if you got it for 10. Why? Who knows. Chinese don’t put up with that crap. Shipping from the pearl river or Hong Kong harbor to the US isn’t that expensive, definitely not worth a 10X markup. A similar fan or keyboard would cost you about $2-4. Not peanuts cheap but more right-priced.
10. People aren’t ashamed to serve. Serving  others is a good thing. I’ll admit I’d rather not be a foot massager or bus boy but if you are there’s no shame in it and Chinese people aren’t ashamed of it. There is no weirdness between you two unless you create it. On a personal level, Chinese are very willing to serve you a drink, food or light your cigarette. Massaging someone else is not gay or romantic, just helping them feel better.

They call America MeiGuo which means “Beautiful Kingdom” or “Beautiful Country”.  What about France you ask? Fag’guo. Not even joking.

2. Most people in China are pretty friendly to foreigners but say “HALLO” to you all the time which gets a little annoying after 8 months. I’ve noted that when i’m dressing sharp or snappy I get more HALLOs then when i’m not.

3. Sprite is called Xue Bi ( Schway Bee) and Coke is called K’o K’ou K’o Le which means, roughly “let your mouth be happy” and also sounds like, well Coca Cola. 7-Up is qi qi (chi chi) and means 77. Beer is piujiu (pee-gee-oh), but usually you can just order Tsingtao (Ching Dow) as it’s really the finest beer around.

4. Breakfast options in China are limited. You have stuff that they eat for other meals (noodle soup, rice, etc) and then you have like bing bread– some bing bread is good, some is awful– depends on what’s inside. I’d say its sort of like a flat, dry exteriored piroshki, but more chewy. Ask whats inside before committing. They will run you about 1 yuan each (15 cents). You can also get dumplings, buns, etc. Many people eat hardboiled eggs too.

5.  Add Oil. If you’re feeling beaten down or depressed people will you to Ka-Yow (cantonese) or Jyah Yo (mandarin).  This means to add oil or gasoline. As far as Facebook in Hong Kong goes its probably the most often used comment. 加油! Add oil la! Oh yeah, they say “la” and “ah” and “ar” a lot too. Basically its a word particle that means nothing on its own but when added to something it sounds nice. For example “how are you la?”, or “I miss you la”, or “what you doing ar?”. You get the idea.

6. Generally, Chinese people don’t like ice or cold drinks. I know some who drink Tsingtao warm. Water is usually hot, sometimes warm, almost never cold. If you’re in a restaurant and you request ice water (baizah bing kuai shui, is how I say it, prob a better way) chinese people will look at you. Look at him, he loves that cold drink in his mouth. As such, finding like a bag of ice isn’t easy. If you need some for cocktails or something go to a restaurant, be sure to have a Chinese person tell them you want ice for drinks, otherwise it may be contaminated.

7. Chinese People Cover Their Mouths When They Use A Toothpick. This is sort of an asia-wide thing and is widely reported but when you consider that Chinese are pretty ok with most other personal grooming (or lack thereof) it’s a bit discordant. There’s spitting out a bad taste from your mouth and then there’s an old chinese guy hawking up a loogie from deep inside his soul that probably has particulates from the Qing Dynasty.

8. Don’t Drink The Water. Well duh. Andy your tips are getting pretty lame here. Hey asshole, I wasn’t finished… even some bottled water is not ok to drink. The amazing thing about the human body, if you’re sensitive to your own body, is that you’ll know almost immediately that it’s not good. There’s one that comes in a fancy bottle called Watson’s that is regularly contaminated. I drink a sip of this and immediately my stomach turns over.

9. That’s fuckin’ teamwork. Chinese girls will often share the load by carrying a plastic shopping bag down the street with each one holding a handle. See the photo below for reference. It’s cute and I tried it once and it does make it easier but sometimes creates awkward confrontations with oncoming pedestrians.

10. Chinese girls also hold hands. They’re not lesbians. Chinese guys sometimes walk around with their arms around each others neck, and are also not gay. It’s possible that some of them are gay and are taking advantage of this being culturally okay but there’s really no way to even quantify or investigate that, but certainly it does happen.

11. Chinese “Great Wall” Brand Wine is foul. Really.  Probably some of the vilest stuff i’ve had since this one time I went camping, left the ice chest with a few beers outside for 3 afternoons, came home at night and saw the chest, removed the beers, refrigerated and drank it later that night. Great Wall wine tastes like how windex smells.

12. People in China love the number 8. The reason is that eight is pronounced Bah, which sounds like Fa, which means Wealth or Prosperity. Also they love 88 because it resembles this character: 囍, which means Double Joy or Double Happiness, which is a kind of happiness that is only possible at a wedding. To add to this, it’s also the name of a popular brand of cigarettes. A pack of Shuang Xi’s (囍) vary in price depending on which variety you want. My friend Felix smokes the 6 元 per pack (84 cents) ones, but if you’re feeling fancy you can spend up to 30元 per pack. I spoke about developing a Quadruple Happiness brand (囍囍!!!!!)  that will practically make your head pop off with happiness to Felix and he didn’t think the idea was funny at all.

13. Chinese People Like or Don’t Really Get This Blog. But they are never angered by it or offended, and I don’t aim to be offensive but sometimes I joke around. Most Chinese people I know who’ve read this blog are just like “Why write about China? What’s the big deal?” . They think, oddly, that I’d write about America since I know more about that.

14. Workers often wear sportscoats and slacks to dig holes. I don’t understand it really. Also, the bike taxi guys wear similar outfits. So do beggars– if not that outfit they wear the Mao jacket with matching pants. Mafia guys wear athletic warm-up clothing or sorta 1980’s gay clothing. Office girls dress like prostitutes. Prostitutes dress like office girls. Hong Kong business guys dress like American yuppie casual (The North Face, Eddie Bauer, etc). Girls in front of massage parlors wear furry jackets and traditional dresses. The girls at the bowling alley wear track suits. All girls wear what would be described in the coastal US as “Granny Panties”. Guys wear briefs or gross underwear-in-a-tube type things. The other day I saw this old white guy wearing a fancy, ornate Mao jacket with his Chinese wife/girlfriend inside of a KFC. I had a series of wtf moments like… gone native.. posterboy for old gross foreigner..poser… pervert… KFC??

12. Most office buildings have hotels built into them. Oh cool, for visiting businessmen. Yeah but they rent them in 3 hour blocks.. oh cool, in case someone wants to stretch out a little, rest their eyes a little... Yeah, something like that. There’s one in my office building and I see nervous couples and unbothered hooker and customer duos all the time. Last Thursday this kind looking old Chinese guy was heading up with a 21 year old and a bag of snacks– like fish crackers and stuff.

13. Time Passes Strangely. 3 months in China for me felt like 6 or 9 months— in a very neutral way; not good or bad. The best way I can describe time passing slow here is just that your life is more dense. You learn a lot. You get mad a lot. You are happy a lot. You’re confused a lot. Now that i’ve been here for 7  months I feel like i’ve been here a year. I think living in such a foreign place just wakes you up. You pay closer attention to everything. Back home I was so familiar with everything that I just slept through life most of the time.

14. Chinese Culture is hard to define. “How’s China?”, people ask me.  It’s, uh, China I say. American culture is  also hard to define, until you’re not inside of it. Then it’s easy. Don’t mind what those snot nosed, scarf wearing, suburbanite tramps say after returning from Europe— Americans do have a culture.   If you don’t think America has a rich, positive culture you’re just not apart of it or don’t understand what the word culture means. You probably think it means old buildings,  exclusionary behavior or dressing like an asshole.

I’ve decided to let you good people follow along while this progresses rather than wait until I have some long unwieldy thread. God I hope he IMs me.

—– Original Message —-
From: Vincent Hong <richpell@warwick.net>
Sent: Tue, April 20, 2010 11:10:08 AM
Subject: Project

Hello,

I have a business proposition for you.Upon recieving your response, a complete insight will be provided to you.My private email is vincenthong36736@yahoo.cn

Vincent Hong.
vincenthong36736@yahoo.cn

发件人: Andy Fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
主题: Re: Project
收件人: 436464hong@gmail.com
抄 送: vincenthong36736@yahoo.cn
日期: 2010年4月20日,周二,下午2:59

Hello Vince,

Far be it from me to tell a grown man how to operate his computer machine but before we get started on this business project/proposition of yours I want to help already: when you want someone to write you back at a certain email address, just write the email from that address! Dig that!

Please send me info about your business idea as i’ve always been very business minded having one time sold a hammer to my neighbor Larry for higher than the retail price I paid. I think that example should let you know what kind of shark you’re dealing with here.

—————————
Andy Fox

From: Vincent Hong <vincenthong36736@yahoo.cn>
To: Andy Fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
Sent: Tue, April 20, 2010 3:26:46 PM
Subject: More Details

Dear Friend, Thanks alot for your interest in partnering with me! I sure like to tell you that we will gain alot from this transaction but there are some certain things we must do to achieve this…However let me give you a comprehensive note what this is about. I am Mr.Vincent Hong, Non Executive Director of Hang Seng Bank Ltd, Hong Kong. An Iraqi named Haider Hanoon,a business man made a numbered fixed deposit of Forty Four million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars only in my branch.. Upon maturity several notice was sent to him, even during the war, Seven years ago (2003). Again after the war another notification was sent and still no response came from him. We later found out that Haider Hanoon and his family had been killed during the war in Gunfire that hit their home at Mukaradeeb. After further investigation it was also discovered that Haider Hanoon did not declare any next of kin in his official papers including the paper work of his bank deposit. And he also confided in me the last time he was at my office that no one except me knew of his deposit in my bank. So, Forty Four million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars is still lying in my bank and no one will ever come forward to claim it. What bothers me is that according to the laws of my country at the expiration seven years six months the funds will revert to the ownership of the Hong Kong Government if nobody applies to claim the funds. Be informed that the fact that you are a foreigner give you the privilege to stand in as my deceased client beneficiary as my deceased had no relation all his family died with him during the war and i can not use my relation because its not accepted here in Hong Kong. Also I am very confident that we will be able to establish the trust that is needed to complete this deal and all that I need for now is your willingness and commitment so that we can end this in the next two weeks. What you need to understand about this transaction is that I will make sure that it passes through all international banking laws regards to this I will take care of the cost of retaining the service of my Attorney to give the transaction the proper documentation that is required to perfect the finishing.Your only obligation in this transaction is to accept to stand in as the only existing beneficiary of my deceased client and you will have to set up offshore account that can accommodate the funds with my principal bank which I will give you information later once we finalize this deal. Further more I sending you my personal information below; Name:Mr.Vincent Hong Address:60, Deep Water Bay Road,Deep Water Bay,Hong Kong .. Fax:+85230177756 Phone: +8821644418523 Phone: +852-8197-0356 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              +852-8197-0356      end_of_the_skype_highlighting begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              +852-8197-0356      end_of_the_skype_highlighting begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              +852-8197-0356      end_of_the_skype_highlighting I hope that the above is well clear to you,if so kindly send me the following; 1. Your Full Name which will be used to prepare the legal paper 2. Your Current Home Address which will be used to prepare the legal paper 3. Your Personal Phone Number 4. Nature Of Job Mind your names and address will be used by my Attorney to prepare the needed documents that will back you up as the sole beneficiary of my deceased client funds while I shall contact you with your phone number for further discussions. Once again thanks for your interest and willingness to partner with me in pulling out my late client funds from my bank,I am anticipating to reading from you very soon. Sincerely Vincent Hong Phone: +852-8197-0356 Phone: +8821644418523

From: Andy Fox
To: Vincent Hong
Sent: Tue, April 20, 2010 6:40:46 PM
Subject: re: More Details

Shit were you drunk when you wrote that? Haha. Sometimes I write rambling emails to people when i’m drunk… Talk about  TL:DR! Well from skimming your email I get the idea that some iraqi bought the farm and he left you a lot of money and you want to give it to me and want me to then share some with you.

I have not only a HSBC account (HK) but also a Hang Seng account (HK) and a China Construction Bank account (PRC)  =and a Bank Of America account!! boooya!! So you can shoot me the money to any one of those.  Even if you’re a bad shot it’s gonna be hard to miss all of those accounts! Joking!

Im sorry to hear about the iraqi guy and his violent death I hope that allah the most forgiving and peaceful didn’t let any of his fluids hit that beautiful US money during the incident. Joking!

As you can see I like joking but even more than joking I like US dollars. Let’s rock.

]]> http://myredchina.com/2010/hong-kong-calling/feed/ 7 http://myredchina.com/2010/signs-in-china/ http://myredchina.com/2010/signs-in-china/#comments Mon, 29 Mar 2010 09:29:04 +0000 admin http://myredchina.com/?p=161

I’ll add more as I find them. It’s true though, in China the signs are pretty blunt.

Pretty much how it goes from what I can gather…

Not sure what it is but in China the two most safely guarded resources are : toilet paper (qi jin) and plastic bags (tai zah).

For instance none of the bathrooms are equipped with toilet paper, unless you’re at a fancy hotel or restaurant. They expect you to carry it around with you.

Now if you go to a store and  buy a crapload of stuff, say 5 40 ouncers of Tsingtao, they’ll be like “Ni Tai zah ma?” (You want a bag?).

Bag prices range from a few Mao (very small amount of money not measurable in American money.. lets say its equal to letting a person smell a dollar you have or put a penny in their mouth and then you taking it back) to maybe 1 Yuan (.14 cents).

The amazing thing is if you say yes, what with your 5 forties of Tsingtao and all they sort of look at you like “Well hello mr big spender”.

The other day I almost crapped my pants at the mall and tracking down toilet paper was a race against the clock to save the United States from a terrorist attack (my pants being the United States, eh you get the idea…)

Finally I found a machine that sold little napkin packages, but it only took 1 yuan coins and I only had 1 yuan bills (no, that didn’t happen…) so I had to like explain to people who work cash registers in my broken chinese why I wanted the coins instead of the bills.

It’d be like if someone was trying to urgently trade you two nickels for a dime. You’d think they had mental problems.

Anyhow, I think China needs to realize that if you make something so readily available people won’t abuse it. Unless they’re chinese people. Well, I guess this is sort of a catch-22. For example, McDonalds doesn’t hand out unlimited ketchup in China, the reason is that while you might go to McDonalds and see that as ketchup you can use there (you’ve probably got a bottle at home) Chinese people are like “Hey, free ketchup!”

And i dont know how to say “just kidding” in chinese.

i dont know if there’s a word for joking.

the chinese do not have a rich tradition of joking.

“you say you want gourou, you eat gourou!”

It was pretty good.

i’m back in LA in two weeks. my friend felix says he must eat it once per week. imagine if i’m out at 3am, cruising the streets of monterrey park and alhambra, looking for dogmeat like a junkie might look for heroin.

Part of what i’m experiencing is what anthropologists call “going native”. The stress involved in being in another culture and country, the pressure to conform to the local standards– it may be all of this however I have not really tried to conform in any other ways. I guess to me eating dog is the crown jewel of cultural weirdness here, in my mind, and I did it to pay some sort of penance. The way Greeks visiting Rome may have allowed themselves to be apart of barbaric and painful blood rituals in order to show affinity.

Also, as mentioned, it tastes pretty good.

a serious HK journalist being culturally insensitive

In Hong Kong, it’s illegal to spit on the ground. “You will get a penalty!” my friend warned me. A penalty I guess is like a ticket. 1500 Hong Kong Dollars ($150) to be exact.

Also, I’m a bit of a litterbug when it comes to small things: cigarettes, wrappers, etc. In China the ground is your trashcan, in Hong Kong they take a similar stance to spitting, although there are trashcans everywhere with messages like “Love Our City!”.

If you’re eating something with shells or bones, in China they go on the ground. I would imagine you’d get thrown out of a restaurant in the US for this but really it’s easier for them to hire someone low waged to sweep it all up than to have waiters clean all the tables.

Walk around late at night on a busy street in a city in China and it looks like hell: shells, bones, lettuce, broken Tsingtao bottles, noodles, rice, misc rubbish, etc. By morning it’s as clean as a whistle. A dirty, smelly, chinese made whistle. But it looks clean!

I like this sort of thing.

Of course the seafood areas reek like seafood because it has so permeated the streets and sidewalks, but shouldn’t seafood areas smell like seafood?

I usually just write the admins pure nonsense to bump my help ticket up. This time I chose a chinese theme:

Reset Please

—– Original Message —-
From: “vps@midphase.com” <vps@midphase.com>
To: andy fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 6:10:58 PM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

Hi Andy,

No problem, we will let you know once this has been done.

—– Original Message —-
From: Andy Fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
To: vps@midphase.com
Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 6:36:15 PM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

Please hurry, my friend richard pryor (not the black comedian; my friend works at home depot in the fittings department, pretty good benefits but that orange apron with the sharpie marker name tag is a little demeaning if you ask me) back home thinks the chinese have killed me and turned off myredchina.com blog site because i said chinese food makes me pee from my butt like a broken fire hydrint.

—————————
Andy Fox 213.281.8287

—– Original Message —-
From: Andy Fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
To: vps@midphase.com
Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 6:41:15 PM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

it just occurred to me that if you’ve been taken over by the chinese government and turned off my blog site i shouldnt say i’m in china, since i’m not. i’m actually in alaska. it’s rather cold at the moment but this salmon sandwich and baked alaska dessert is to die for. i can send the recipes if you’re interested.

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Andy Fox 213.281.8287

—– Original Message —-
From: Andy Fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
To: vps@midphase.com
Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 6:50:05 PM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

I dont mean to freak out on you but earlier i said my friend richard pryor works at home depot. he actually works at the kentucky fried chicken on wilshire blvd and armacost ave in los angeles and his name is Javier Villegas and he had sex with my girlfriend once in past and he hates china real bad.

—————————
Andy Fox 213.281.8287

—– Original Message —-
From: Andy Fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
To: vps@midphase.com
Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 7:04:00 PM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

Ni Hao Comrades this is General Tsao with the military, i have Andy’s computer but need to look at his websites again for a little while. please turn them back on so that i can look at them. i have put andy into a bamboo jail as instructed for saying our wonderful food makes him volcano from his rear end. i slapped him across the face and hes real sorry and i will probably just let him go so this is an order to turn his websites back on and also not try to arrest him again as he is acting very contrite and offering to eat any delicious chinese dish i bring before him, even the gross one with jellyfish and carrot slices.

xiu xiu,

GT

—————————
Andy Fox 213.281.8287

—– Original Message —-
From: “vps@midphase.com” <vps@midphase.com>
To: andy fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 7:06:13 PM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

Hi,

The server which your VPS runs on has become unresponsive, we are having the DC techs check this now and will get back to you as soon as possible with an update.

—– Original Message —-
From: Andy Fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
To: vps@midphase.com
Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 7:32:01 PM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

Kind Sir-

Ah very well, the DC technicians have arrived to put things in their right place. Please ask them to use restraint when handling Andy’s server files as i want to be the one to really work them over like the villain boss in american movies likes to handle his dirty work against his worst enemies with his own vengeful and mighty hands in a long and drawn out manner. By my calculations this will take about 6 months to fully destroy these files so please do not harm them in any way as you will be detracting from my great pleasure.

General Tsao

—————————
Andy Fox 213.281.8287

—– Original Message —-
From: Andy Fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
To: vps@midphase.com
Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 7:42:26 PM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

sir this is quite concerning to me that the famed DC technicians have not remedied this problem (so that i may systematically and painstakingly destroy this horrible online book) . Please tell them that General Tsao himself commands them to make the server come back from heaven at once or he will beat them within one centimeter of their life.

if service is restored within the hour i will send a large basket of persimmons and other popular chinese snacks that i cannot recall at the moment to your residence or place of work.

General Tsao

—————————
Andy Fox 213.281.8287

—– Original Message —-
From: “vps@midphase.com” <vps@midphase.com>
To: andy fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 8:49:43 PM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

Hi Andy,

We have run a FSCK on the servers disk at present, and your vps should be full accessible now. We here are very confused with your messages. We hope you are OK and your server issue is not related to chinese government.

Michael
Senior VPS Support

—– Original Message —-
From: Andy Fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
To: vps@midphase.com
Sent: Tue, November 24, 2009 5:12:22 AM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

I ate some magical mushrooms last night on accident. sorry.

—————————
Andy Fox 213.281.8287

—- Original Message —-
From: “vps@midphase.com” <vps@midphase.com>
To: andy fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
Sent: Tue, November 24, 2009 5:56:24 AM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

No problem

If you have any other issues feel free to let us know.

Regards.