I apologize if you tried to access my blog and were not able to. My server was down and this happens all the time.

I usually just write the admins pure nonsense to bump my help ticket up. This time I chose a chinese theme:

Reset Please

—– Original Message —-
From: “vps@midphase.com” <vps@midphase.com>
To: andy fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 6:10:58 PM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

Hi Andy,

No problem, we will let you know once this has been done.

—– Original Message —-
From: Andy Fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
To: vps@midphase.com
Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 6:36:15 PM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

Please hurry, my friend richard pryor (not the black comedian; my friend works at home depot in the fittings department, pretty good benefits but that orange apron with the sharpie marker name tag is a little demeaning if you ask me) back home thinks the chinese have killed me and turned off myredchina.com blog site because i said chinese food makes me pee from my butt like a broken fire hydrint.

—————————
Andy Fox 213.281.8287

—– Original Message —-
From: Andy Fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
To: vps@midphase.com
Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 6:41:15 PM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

it just occurred to me that if you’ve been taken over by the chinese government and turned off my blog site i shouldnt say i’m in china, since i’m not. i’m actually in alaska. it’s rather cold at the moment but this salmon sandwich and baked alaska dessert is to die for. i can send the recipes if you’re interested.

—————————
Andy Fox 213.281.8287

—– Original Message —-
From: Andy Fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
To: vps@midphase.com
Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 6:50:05 PM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

I dont mean to freak out on you but earlier i said my friend richard pryor works at home depot. he actually works at the kentucky fried chicken on wilshire blvd and armacost ave in los angeles and his name is Javier Villegas and he had sex with my girlfriend once in past and he hates china real bad.

—————————
Andy Fox 213.281.8287

—– Original Message —-
From: Andy Fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
To: vps@midphase.com
Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 7:04:00 PM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

Ni Hao Comrades this is General Tsao with the military, i have Andy’s computer but need to look at his websites again for a little while. please turn them back on so that i can look at them. i have put andy into a bamboo jail as instructed for saying our wonderful food makes him volcano from his rear end. i slapped him across the face and hes real sorry and i will probably just let him go so this is an order to turn his websites back on and also not try to arrest him again as he is acting very contrite and offering to eat any delicious chinese dish i bring before him, even the gross one with jellyfish and carrot slices.

xiu xiu,

GT

—————————
Andy Fox 213.281.8287

—– Original Message —-
From: “vps@midphase.com” <vps@midphase.com>
To: andy fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 7:06:13 PM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

Hi,

The server which your VPS runs on has become unresponsive, we are having the DC techs check this now and will get back to you as soon as possible with an update.

—– Original Message —-
From: Andy Fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
To: vps@midphase.com
Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 7:32:01 PM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

Kind Sir-

Ah very well, the DC technicians have arrived to put things in their right place. Please ask them to use restraint when handling Andy’s server files as i want to be the one to really work them over like the villain boss in american movies likes to handle his dirty work against his worst enemies with his own vengeful and mighty hands in a long and drawn out manner. By my calculations this will take about 6 months to fully destroy these files so please do not harm them in any way as you will be detracting from my great pleasure.

General Tsao

—————————
Andy Fox 213.281.8287

—– Original Message —-
From: Andy Fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
To: vps@midphase.com
Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 7:42:26 PM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

sir this is quite concerning to me that the famed DC technicians have not remedied this problem (so that i may systematically and painstakingly destroy this horrible online book) . Please tell them that General Tsao himself commands them to make the server come back from heaven at once or he will beat them within one centimeter of their life.

if service is restored within the hour i will send a large basket of persimmons and other popular chinese snacks that i cannot recall at the moment to your residence or place of work.

General Tsao

—————————
Andy Fox 213.281.8287

—– Original Message —-
From: “vps@midphase.com” <vps@midphase.com>
To: andy fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
Sent: Mon, November 23, 2009 8:49:43 PM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

Hi Andy,

We have run a FSCK on the servers disk at present, and your vps should be full accessible now. We here are very confused with your messages. We hope you are OK and your server issue is not related to chinese government.

Michael
Senior VPS Support

—– Original Message —-
From: Andy Fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
To: vps@midphase.com
Sent: Tue, November 24, 2009 5:12:22 AM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

I ate some magical mushrooms last night on accident. sorry.

—————————
Andy Fox 213.281.8287

—- Original Message —-
From: “vps@midphase.com” <vps@midphase.com>
To: andy fox <andyfox1979@yahoo.com>
Sent: Tue, November 24, 2009 5:56:24 AM
Subject: Re: [#24239315] reset

No problem

If you have any other issues feel free to let us know. :)

Regards.